


These nights, alone and Macabre

by Pesty



Category: Vast Error
Genre: Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Nightmares, Past Abuse (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 16:58:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18480481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pesty/pseuds/Pesty
Summary: Sovara Amalie, haunted by nightmares from her past, seeks the help of one of her friends.





	These nights, alone and Macabre

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first time uploading one of these things and also my first time actually writing something out to fruition. That being said, sorry in advance for any weird spacing, I'm afraid I'm not too good at HTML and CSS coding! I hope you enjoy :)  
> Beta'd by: Dee  
> Also!! Go read Dee's fic! <https://archiveofourown.org/users/deedippe/pseuds/deedippe>

These nights are the ones you despise the most — moments so somber and still,  you feel as if you could reach out and touch the heaviness of the air that surrounds you.

With the absence of a proper recuperacoon, you can’t say that the thoughts that come to you in the dead of night aren’t exactly friendly — but then again, when have things ever been welcoming or nice to you? You can count on one hand the number of pleasant experiences you’ve had in recent memory.   
  
The descent scares you each and every time. You never expect the fall, or the ache you feel in your  heart  — the way warmth leaves you entirely, instantly.

You can’t help the terrified shiver that runs up your spine as you clench your fists. Darkness clouds your vision, as your eyes try to focus on the vast expanse of nothing that stretches out before you. 

These dreams — no, these  nightmares  — are endless, and they terrify you.

His voice, that dissonant, ominous melody haunting you. The suffocating sound that forces you to think about memories you can’t bear to recall. Him, at the center of everything, the crowd, all of them circling you, spinning, watching. They taunt and they mock and it’s all — it’s too —  

You wake with a jolt, sweat dripping down your back as you stare at the wall in front of your mat. Your plush, limp in your arms, has brand new indents still visible from where you clutched at it with wild abandon. Tears spill from your eyes, and you are so tired. You try to thumb them away before they fall, to no avail.   


You are always so tired.

  
You tie your hair back in a messy, hastily done bun, using the elastic you keep around your wrist and push the covers back as you stand up. A shaky sigh leaves your mouth as you gingerly take your plush in your hands.

You sit down at your writing desk and take a deep breath. In and out. In…. and out, Just like when Albion showed you.

Thinking of your beloved helps take your mind off the nightmares, but — even so, revisiting past shared memories is not enough to dispel the lingering panic you feel clawing at you.

She’s also... not online. It’s so very early in the morning, you suppose you can’t really blame her.

Your eyes frantically scan the rest of your friend list, hoping that one of them —   please,  just  one  of them — might be online.

Red, red, and even more red. You almost give up entirely before your eyes fall on a newly coloured button.

MacabreExude. Cloying.

You haven’t spoken to Occeus in a good while. You’ve always been fond of the man and the polite, earnest way in which he conducts himself. Surely it would be no trouble if you messaged him for a quick chat?

 

\-- sanguineAllegory [SA] started trolling  macabreExude [ME]  \--

  
SA: (are you awake, OCCEUS?)  
SA: (i know it’s very early in the morning, but...)  
ME: S.o.vara  
ME: What are y.o.u d.o.ing up at this h.o.ur?  
SA: (oh, i’m just... doing some early morning reading! ovo)  
ME: Eye see. T.o. answer y.o.ur questi.o.n, eye am getting a head start .o.n the experiments eye need t.o. finish f.o.r t.o.day  
ME: What are y.o.u reading at this h.o.ur?

SA: (just some short stories!)   
ME: S.o.vara, eye d.o. n.o.t think y.o.u are telling me the truth, as much as eye hate to insinuate such a thing ab.o.ut a friend  
ME: Are y.o.u d.o.ing alright?   
SA: (usually i’m the one asking you that)  
SA: (but i’m fine, OCCEUS, no need to worry uvu)   
ME: Eye w.o.uld usually st.o.p questi.o.ning there, but y.o.u are never up at this h.o.ur S.o.va  
ME: What is wr.o.ng  
ME: Eye have c.o.nfided in y.o.u multiple times bef.o.re and eye think it is time eye repaid the fav.o.ur   
ME: S.o. f.o.r this .o.nce will y.o.u tell me what is b.o.thering y.o.u  
SA: (OCCEUS, i)  
SA: (please it hurts so much)  
ME: It is alright eye am here f.o.r y.o.u   
ME: What is it that is hurting you?  
SA: (it’s really hard to explain but)  
SA: (imagine there’s this young troll. she is nice and sweet and has a very... unique gift. everything’s fine for a while, but then one day, a big bad wolf comes along and takes her under his wing)  
SA: (he makes her do things that are awful and terrible and she can’t really do anything about it)  
SA: (in the end, she manages to escape and find friends again, but those memories still haunt her every night)

SA: (and she can’t make them stop)  
SA: (and sometimes, it all becomes simply too much for her)  
ME: Eye see  
ME: There are... certain times when eye als.o. feel like eye am al.o.ne with my th.o.ughts

ME: And my headaches  
ME: But we b.o.th have pe.o.ple in .o.ur lives that care f.o.r us and are there t.o. help, even if they seem far away   
ME: They are always there, in y.o.ur heart and in y.o.ur mem.o.ries 

  
  
You set down your tablet for a moment and step away from the conversation. Your vision blurs with scarlet drops that fall from your eyes as you hiccup — and the full weight of his words hits you. It still hurts  so much,  but his sympathy is something strange to you.  

Your words are misunderstood by your cyan-blooded friend and this new, strange way of being understood and cared for by someone other than your beloved is the best change of pace that’s happened in a while.    


While you were thinking, he sent a few more messages.  
  
ME: S.o.va if y.o.u are still there eye h.o.pe my w.o.rds helped at least s.o.mewhat

ME: Eye have t.o. return t.o. my w.o.rk n.o.w but eye h.o.pe the rest .o.f y.o.ur night g.o.es well 

  
  
\-- macabreExude [ME] stopped trolling  sanguineAllegory [SA]  --   
  
\-- sanguineAllegory [SA] started trolling  macabreExude [ME]  \--  
SA: (thank you, OCCEUS)

\-- sanguineAllegory [SA] stopped trolling  macabreExude [ME]  \--

 

You turn your tablet off and push it to the side and fold your arms across your chest.  You sit like that for a good seven minutes, you wipe your sleeve across your cheeks before scooting your chair back and softly treading back up the stairs to your loft.   
  
You take the elastic out and let your hair fan out over your shoulders and down your back.  You feel better, a lot better, and you go through his words again in your head as you pull the covers of your mat back.  

He’s right you realize- you’ll always have him, Serpaz, Laivan, your friends and most of all your darling matesprit and as you lay back down and pull the covers up to your chin, you gently smile as your newly found memories come rushing back to you. Your eyes begin to droop and you fall back to sleep within minutes.  
  
These nights are usually so terrifying and solemn, but you haven’t dreamt this well in sweeps- and it’s a relief that you especially welcome. 


End file.
